So today started out pretty great. I woke up early, was feeling great and then I realized I had an email from my bank, which only happens if my account is lower than $25. So I'm thinking to myself it cannot be that because we have $50 to last us till next Wednesday [when I get paid at work]. So sure enough I open my email, and it says my account is negative $162. Why is that? Because my stupid car insurance autodrafted my account even though I had called to cancel it from happening. So im panicked and already on the phone with these stupid insurance people and go figure their response is " it takes X amount of days to take effect" I argue that I was never notified and did they care? of course not. Anyways long story short they told me I was SOL.
After crying for about 5 minutes [I know it never helps, but I'm a severely emotional person] I start to think of what I could possibly do to fix things. I HATE asking for help. and id wanted to ask my boyfriend of nearly 5 yrs but I already owe him and I know he barely has anything left. So next I begin to go thru my room and think of things to pawn, only to come to the realization that I have absolutely nothing on financial value. Most of my jewelry is fake, I don't have fancy things because they've never really mattered. All day I think of what I could do to possibly get the money and come up with nothing. I am incredibly stressed at this point and just trying to take deep breaths telling myself that we [my younger sister and I] will be fine. We've been through far worse, we can do this.
Later during the day my older sister [who was a very close childhood friend throughout my life, therefore she is considered my sister] texts me asking me whats wrong and I tell her everything. And just like that she offers to help. Mind you I am at work when she texts me so when I see that, I start to cry. I just felt so relieved and not only that but like this weight was lifted off my shoulders, I could breathe.
Im not a proud person. Never have been, its never been about my pride. I ts just that my mother always counted on other people to not only do things for her but fix her messes. To this day, one of our family friends pays her light bill every month. I NEVER want to be that person, I dont ever want to only call people when I need something. I got myself into it and I'll damn sure get myself out of it. But sometimes you need help, and how can you get help when you dont ask. Im not one to quote scripture often but: "he who asks shall receive". I spoke to a close friend of mine and he tells me asking for help does not mean you failed. It means your human.
I thank God that I do have people who have my back. I thank God for the life I live, it may be filled with struggles and sometimes I just want to give up. but what does not kill you can only make you stronger.
No comments:
Post a Comment